Teenage Minds

WHO CAN KNOW THE MIND OF A TEENAGER? BE RECEPTIVE TO YOUR CHILDREN AND LOGICAL

Before we get into this article, I’d like to mention that all the details in this article may not be precise because human beings are vary from each other. So what will be applicable to Human A, may not be applicable to Human B. With that being said, there will be a sort of guideline, how you can successfully get to know your adolescences. Throughout the article, I’ll be sharing some tips, and ways to motivate and generally getting to know your teenage kids, and by all means never over looking their feelings. A huge mistake many parents make, especially dads. It seems that dads deliberately taunt their teenage boys, while allowing the teenage girls to get away with murder.

1. START EARLY – If your kids didn’t trust you when they were ten, they’re certainly not going to trust you when they’re fifteen. You should begin to cultivate a relationship, that is not solely parent-child relationship. Coming up to your seventeen years old you hardly converse with and sitting them down to suddenly chat will not end well. They’ll be wary and probably hold back which will end with you being frustrated and the possibility of you yelling at them. This is what a lot of parents are doing. It’s the same thing while preparing for an exam. You’ve known about it for a month and you don’t start reading until the night before. The exam will feel foreign and weird to you because you have not previously made any effort. You have to start young, begin to cultivate a relationship with your kid so that when they become a teenager your relationship will hold firm through all the ordeals. We would like to tunnel through this without either one of you thinking the other is a sociopath.

2. HOW TO MOTIVATE YOUR TEENAGER – We all struggle with motivation and procrastination. Every one of us. So the first thing you should do is get rid of the ideology than teenagers are inherently lazy and please never say that to your kid. No one likes being generalized. It’s a bad feeling, because teenagers often struggle with self-image, finding themselves and accepting themselves, it’ll be deteriorating if you keep generalizing them and making them feel unimportant. If you want to successfully motivate your teenager, let them in. You could both sit down, write your goals, compare them and then give yourselves helpful tips and deadlines. After completing them you can take your teenager out or get them something they want. It’s important to note that this should not be used for academic purposes, you should never make it seem as though education is the only way to access rewards from you. This should be applied in extracurricular activities i.e. hobbies, sports etc. Another thing to note is that you should never focus on just one aspect of your teenager’s life. Focus on them all because you don’t want to pass the wrong message. If you focus on just one, they may lose passion for it or feel as though they’re only valid to you in that particular aspect.

3. WORK ON RESPECT AND FEAR – Unfortunately there’s no class called Encouraging kids 101 or Raising kids 101 but regardless of that, I find it amusing that parents repeat the exact same thing their own parents did to them, so now the cycle repeats itself. Now, they probably hated some things their parents did and swore to never repeat the same mistakes but at the end of the day, they do. One major reason for this is fear. Many parents think that once your child is fearful of them, they’ll never step out of line. They also conveniently forget how many times they stepped out of line even though they were scared of their parents. Fear can only take you so far, what you need are high esteem, trust or a sense of reverence. If your kids respect you they would never flout your decisions. You need to work on building mutual respect, and one way of getting respect is giving it out. Remember your child is a human being just like you, if you want love, respect, and trust you’ll have to give some away. They are reciprocal and they last a lifetime. Respect your kid’s opinions, offer them trust and see what happens. This is an effective way to inspire your child because if they trust you and respect you they’re more likely to do what you say. Not because you will punish them but because of their desire to please you. Set aside a period of time and devote to your children daily.

During their adolescent stages we as parents must remember that these are the most vulnerable years of their lives. The sensitive matters that plague our youth from day to day become burdensome. Of course we don’t intentionally throw our children to the back burners, we just get so consumed with our daily lives, be it work or spouses we don’t use this period in their lives to cultivate them as we should. So consequently they slip through the cracks, they ditch school, they have begin having teenage sex, and even doing drugs become irresistible. They display emotional ups and downs, with some of the most improper behavior, and we as parents are sometimes not even cognizance of their erratic traits. They are up late nights never in the bed at a reasonable hour, consumed by their video games, speeding through their homework, talking on the phones, or shall I say sexting on their phones, and we as parents are oblivious to everything they are doing.

The mind, the mental state of our world is diminishing quickly before our eyes and is going to hell in hand-basket. In the meantime we hesitantly ask questions or neglect to get involved with our adolescences. Their behavior is is disturbing, an eerie feeling comes over you when they enter the same room as you, you tune them out just so you do not have to deal with the Elephant in the room. The gap between your relationship gets bigger and bigger, and will soon be dead. But none of this is done intentionally, you just don’t have the resourceful tools or the where with all to or even the innovative mind to make a disturbing teenager subjective to your command. This technique can be accomplished if done in a calm manner. There is hope!

4. DISCUSS WHAT THEY’RE GOING THROUGH, WITH THEM – Sadly most parents discuss what their kid is going through but never with the kid. They talk about it between themselves, with friends, but never with the child. It’s ironic, isn’t it? A bit like gossiping. If it concerns the children, let the kids talk and express themselves. It’s always better to hear the news from the horse’s mouth rather than a second party. If your child’s school teacher calls you to make a complaint, ask your child about it. Don’t start reprimanding your kid without even knowing the full story. Keep them involved, these are their lives after all. If you follow these steps, your child will be inclined to communicate openly with you. Be careful to listen closely, be positive, value their thoughts and brainstorm together on methods to better the situation. A collaboration of this sort will inspire your youth. Never hesitate to get to know your children, they are just waiting for you to give them your uninterrupted time. This appeals to them.

5. DISCUSS THEIR FAILURES – Many people, adults, and kids choose to sweep their failures under the rug and act as if it never happened. They only way they acknowledge these failures is through regret. If your kid failed a test or a tryout, gently analyze it, see what the kid has done wrong and then work on the weak spots. It’ll also help if you discuss some of your failures too. Remember not to be judgmental or resentful towards them. Be gentle, they are intelligent human beings too.

6. TAKE IT EASY AND BE CONSISTENT – Don’t be brash or quick to anger if these tips don’t work for you immediately. Your children have their own emotions too. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you have to exercise patience and consistency. Repeatedly talk with them, keep them in the loop, be encouraging to them without being overbearing, correct them without being judgmental and assure them that it’s okay to make mistakes. We all do, you remember.

There is hope! Our hope is in Jesus Christ! The author and finisher of our faith. Who can know the mind of a teenager? The answer is You, the Parent!

Encourage Yourself: If you’re looking to encourage your youth or simple motivational tips and quotes for children, I hope this article shed some light on the matter. You’re the biggest influence your child is ever going to have. Use this power wisely.

Ways To Encourage Your Teenager

Being a teenager is difficult, whether you’re teetering on the edge of teenagehood at thirteen or you’re looking back and getting ready to say goodbye at nineteen, it is still difficult. The staggering amount of life-changing decisions one has to make during the teenage years is honestly daunting. Maybe it’s deciding if you’ll go to college or take a gap year, the thing is those decisions are often heavily doused with indecision and a lack of self-awareness. It’s absurd that we have to decide who you want to be when you don’t even know who you currently are. If you have a teenage child who’s irritable and often grumpy or maybe you just don’t understand them and it feels like you’re on polar opposites, here are some ways to help your teenage kid:

1. ENCOURAGEMENT – I cannot stress the importance of this. You need to encourage these kids. Life is hard, they’re probably on social media watching kids their age or even younger than them doing great stuff and they feel stupid, inadequate and lost. They need to be assured that they are perfectly okay, it’s perfectly normal not to have figured your life ours at the age of 18. Life is uncertain and if things aren’t working according to their plans let them know that they shouldn’t beat themselves up over it. They should work harder and pick themselves up.

2. LISTEN – This may just be the most important thing you would ever offer to a teenager. They’re going through a lot of stuff they don’t know how to handle. Talking about it may not necessarily help but it takes a load off one’s chest. Not all the issues are end products of teenage angst, some issues are extremely important and scary issues such as sexual assault. A lot of teenagers get sexually assaulted by their peers or older people and they don’t want to come out and talk about it because they feel as though no one would listen. Lending a listening ear always goes a long way.

3. TALKING – It isn’t enough to just listen, you should hold conversations with your teenage kids. Sometimes as a teenager, you feel invisible; the wind drifting aimlessly and as mundane as it sounds, a conversation help a lot. Simply asking how their day went or how classes are going goes a really long way. So talk to your kid today via call or if it’s possible to face to face. You’ll both feel better. It is also important to note that the conversation may not go smoothly the first few times but remember that consistency is key.

4. MERIT SYSTEM – Please do not let your teenage kid view school as the only means of progress and validation. Help your teenager understand that grades do not define a person. It is easy to get caught up in grades, studying but one day that will end and they will be left feeling unaccomplished. It will help if you discuss these things with them and assure them of your love no matter what.

5. TELL THEM YOUR FAILURES – A lot of parents aren’t honest with their kids. It could be something as mundane as lying to them but the fact is that at that age, trust is a very easy thing to lose. Some parents don’t believe in having their kids’ trust, only fear. They forget that the kid will grow up and stop fearing them but the trust will always stay. If you’ve failed at something your kid is doing, let them know that you tried it and you failed. It will be hard to own up and admit to your own kids that you’re not good at something but it’ll build up an astounding amount of respect in your favor if you do this. Discuss it with them and let them know where you went wrong so they won’t repeat the same mistakes.

6. SUPPORT – Be a shoulder to cry on. Be their major source of support. Teenagers are often very vulnerable people, mentally and physically but if they are assured of your support they would never go out into the world craving acceptance and love when they get it from you.

7. COMPLIMENTS – Everyone loves receiving compliments, even dogs love being told they are good dogs. Never hesitate to tell your teenager they look great or acknowledge their effort. They might brush you off in an effort to look cool but your compliments help to build up a healthy self-esteem.

8. DO SOMETHING THEY ENJOY DOING WITH THEM – This is tricky, I know, but it’s worth the effort. It doesn’t have to be an outing or doing something daunting. You can start with little things. Maybe your teenager likes a particular show on Netflix, ask them if they’d like to see that show with you. Or perhaps they love a singer or a dancer or an artist, you could ask them to play their album for you and if you like it you can take them a concert. These little things are what truly matter.

9. SHOW THEM LOVE – Sometimes this may not be reciprocated blatantly however, you still have to show them love by actually saying it and also in your actions. It will help your teenager be more comfortable with the idea of showing love and other emotions instead of repression which often ends with the victim mentally scarred.

Contact, communication, and consistency are three certified ways of encouraging and getting closer to your teenage kids. Most of the effort will be on your side but with time it’ll pay off. Time flies by, before you know it they’re off to college and I’m sure no one wants to have a dysfunctional relationship with their kids. It starts now, starts with the little things, allow them to have their say before making decisions on their behalf, talk to them and not at them. It won’t make things better if you keep reporting your teenager to different people so they can be scolded. This child is your responsibility. Own up to it and you might just find a wonderful friend in your teenage kids.